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    October 27

    不离不弃

    前两天看到一句话,“执手三生,你若不离,我便不弃。”

    先是用脑壳上的包琢磨了琢磨,干嘛还要先“你若不离”,然后“我便不弃”呢?这样是不是有点太依附于别人的味道?自己不弃,还要有个先决条件“你若不离”。

    后来转用脑壳琢磨,或许是封建礼教的产物?自己依附于对方,别人不离开,我就不会走。此言言外之意,你若离开,我就会走;或者,你我的关系,我是死心塌地的,你要离开的话我才会放弃;又抑或,说这话代表对对方没有绝对的信心吧。总归感觉,有点不平衡嘛。

    倒也没当回事。

    不过今儿听说了两个例子,大意都是谈朋友死心塌地,后来谈蹦了,对方找了别人,结婚甚至有了孩子,这俩人都还缠着对方没完。这个可真有点过分了。自己停滞不前不愿意走开不说,还缠着对方让对方不得安宁。放手本来也是爱的一部分,尽管是最不希望看到的一部分,但需要的时候也是不可或缺的。

    如此说来,“你若不离,我便不弃”的另一方面理解:你若离,我便弃,也是有道理的。无以为继的时候,放手也算是爱对方的最后一种方式。既然人家在自己这里无法得到幸福,那么放手让人家寻找幸福,远比死缠烂打成为人家幸福路上的拦路虎来得好。

    不过归根到底,留意到这句话还是因为曾经有人用不离不弃这个词评价过我。很高兴有人这样说过。不过今天也开始庆幸,此前同样做到了不离不弃的另一面,没有成为别人的烦恼。

    嗯,不离不弃,很温暖的一个词。

    Comments (3)

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    wrote:
    亦是多情人...
    Nov. 4
    Haowrote:
    学会享受生活吧,你会改变看法的……
    Oct. 27
    JUE CHENwrote:
    头被搅晕了,跟绕口令似的……你干嘛不看第一句,人家前提是‘执手三生’!人要选择活‘三生’得多大的勇气啊!我是不会选择活这么多次的!
    Oct. 27

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